One week before Tony Blair became Prime Minister, on holiday in Greece in 1997; my father sat a nine year old Jay down and explained the ‘rules of the world’.
You see, my dad was a streetwise bloke and he knew what made the world go around and how people work. On the contrary I had a sheltered upbringing and was a shadow of the person I am now. We spoke about a lot that one night in Greece, as my mum had gone to bed early it was just the two of us and he wanted transfer some of his knowledge onto me. In an attempt to try and make me see the world for what it is and how others should be treated.
I remember that night so vividly – I just don’t remember what was said… It was 19 years ago after all and as I said, I was only nine. Sadly, my dad is no longer around to remind me of what we spoke about, in the same vein he’s not about to tell me where I’m going wrong as I make mistake after mistake. So I have to look retrospectively and ask myself: “what would dad think”.
In the time since our chat, I’ve made countless mistakes and I’ve completely attributed and even taken part in the current abhorrent dating culture that surrounds singletons in this day and age. There’s an almost blameless culture for being an utter knobshite to those who have innocent feelings or vested interest as the other person’s emotional level is not even close.
You cannot blame someone for not feeling the same, but there’s almost a taboo surrounding talking about feelings and being open and honest; instead there’s an opportunistic mindset towards those who are willing to open up to the point where I have seen this negative behaviour quite honestly act like a leech and suck any form of integrity from a unexpecting victim.
In a world where a mutual Tinder right swipe could lead to emotional involvement as quickly as the swipe itself – is it any wonder why emotions are being hidden under a type of bravado and emotions are treated like a wound and seen as an easy target whilst the predator hides behind an emotional shield built up over time.
I definitely think I’ve been guilty of this in the past, in a different time and place I was a different person. A person I don’t want associated with myself.
What can be done to change the current dating landscape? I don’t think I have the answer yet but I know for a fact that emotional attachment isn’t something I should: 1. hide from view or, 2. run a mile from. What bigger compliment is there to have than someone wanting to be around you, because of the way you are?
If we were all honest with each other we’d have a lot less hurt, because we’d have a lot tougher skin. It’s not a simple remedy, but I believe this to be true.
I’ve changed as a person and I definitely think it’s for the best.